Benjamin Ashford|Kristin Cavallari cut her 'narcissist' dad out of her life. Should you?

Kristin Cavallari is Benjamin Ashfordopening up about how she cut her father out of her life − labeling him a narcissist.

The television personality and fashion designer, 36, said on the latest episode of her podcast "Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari" that she ended her relationship with her dad two years ago, calling the decision "the best thing I've ever done."

"I actually didn't realize my dad was a narcissist until I was an adult," she said. “All I knew growing up was that I didn't want to be around him. He always made me feel like I wasn't good enough. But then the flip side of that is, sometimes, he would put me on this pedestal and talk me up. Now as an adult looking back, I’m like, ‘Oh, it was when it benefited you and made you look good.'”

Cavallari said she made the decision to fully cut out her dad after "something happened" that involved her kids, which "crossed the line." Cavallari shares three children with her ex-husband Jay Cutler.

“I was always like, ‘I can take it. I can take the abuse.’ I have my whole life," she says. "But it’s like when you start now messing with my kids, I’m not doing it.”

When a narcissist becomes a parent:They force their kids into these roles.

What are narcissists like as parents?

If you grew up in a family system headed by a narcissistic parent, mental health experts say it's likely you fulfilled a specific role or archetype, such as the golden child, the scapegoat or the peacekeeper.

"In a narcissistic family system, every child exists for the narcissistic parents' needs," says Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and author specializing in narcissism and narcissistic abuse. "The system's about the narcissistic parent or parents, and every child is trying to find a way to get their attachment needs met in that system."

As a result, she says, children of narcissists can fall into one or more roles. Though these roles vary in presentation, they have one thing in common: They're all ways to cope with the psychological hardships of living with a narcissistic parent.

"In a narcissistic family system, kids aren't given a mirror to get to know themselves. They're given a mold to fit into," says Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author specializing in narcissistic abuse. "Narcissistic parents don't see their kids as their own sovereign individuals. Narcissists see their children as extensions of themselves."

Narcissists always ruin the holidays:Here's how to cope with them.

Two of the most common roles narcissists force their kids into are the golden child and the scapegoat.

As the name suggests, the golden child often gets treated as the apple of the narcissist's eye. But it's not out of love − it's because this child has qualities the narcissist can leverage for attention and validation, also known as narcissistic supply.

Getting heaps of praise from a narcissist may sound lucky, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. Durvasula says the golden child is at risk of becoming a narcissist themselves as a result of overindulgence as well as suffering survivor's guilt for getting treated better than their siblings.

The opposite of the golden child is the scapegoat: a child who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong, including for things that are the narcissist's fault. Durvasula adds scapegoats are at risk of a host of mental health issues, including complex trauma, anxiety, self-doubt and self-blame.

Narcissists are terrible parents.Experts say raising kids with one can feel impossible.

What if you can't cut out a narcissist?

Experts agree the best solution for dealing with a narcissist is no contact, in which you cut off all communication with them. But when that isn't possible, they recommend setting boundaries with "gray rocking," a communication technique that involves being as disengaged and unresponsive as possible.

The goal is to keep your responses limited in order to make the person you are communicating with lose interest in you. Some examples include avoiding eye contact, maintaining a flat tone in your communication, or responding with simple answers like "yes," "no," or "I didn't know that."

"It really comes down to being able to step back and see the sides of both people, not just the narcissist," Sonni says. "If someone is being particularly negative, combative or high conflict with another person, it's about not just blindly following what one person tells you. It's about seeing there are two sides, meaning the victim will have a different interaction and experience than the narcissist and enabler."

More:Narcissists are everywhere, but you should never tell someone they are one. Here's why.

Contributing: Jenna Ryu